Who Am I Now? Rediscovering Yourself in the First Year Postpartum
You thought you’d recognize yourself once you became a mom — but now, some days you barely do.
You look at photos from before pregnancy and see someone who had time to shower, laugh easily, and finish a thought without interruption. Now, you love your baby deeply… and still, you wonder: What happened to me?
Postpartum brings a thousand visible changes — but some of the hardest ones are invisible.
Your body heals, but your sense of identity can feel disoriented. Roles shift. Priorities rearrange themselves. Your energy, attention, and even your relationships reorganize around this new life you’re caring for.
It’s not that you’ve lost yourself — it’s that you’re becoming someone new.
This transformation, often called matrescence, is as significant as adolescence. It’s the process of growing into motherhood — physically, emotionally, and socially. But unlike adolescence, there’s little cultural space to talk about how disorienting it can feel.
You may find yourself grieving who you were before, even as you love your baby and love motherhood. That grief doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful — it means you’re human. Change is always hard!
Here are a few gentle ways to reconnect with yourself:
Name what’s changed. Saying out loud what feels different helps you witness it with compassion.
Keep something that’s just yours. A morning cup of coffee alone, journaling, music, movement — a reminder that you exist beyond motherhood. It doesn’t have to take long, but it’s important to prioritize even 10 minutes of you time.
Let your identity evolve. You don’t have to go back to who you were before — you get to integrate her into who you’re becoming.
If you feel like you don’t recognize yourself right now, you’re not broken — you’re in transition. With support, reflection, and time, this new version of you will start to feel more whole.
You haven’t lost yourself. She’s still here — learning to coexist with everything you’ve gained.
If you’re struggling to feel grounded in this new chapter, therapy can help you reconnect with yourself. I offer virtual and in-person postpartum support in Pleasant Hill.
